The shortened story of transgender naming ceremony:
For as long as she was aware of having a gender, which for most children awakens around three, she knew she was a girl. Her parents were a bit mystified, as she was born male. They set up rules: you can be a girl at home, a boy out in the world. By the time she was nine or so, after much soul searching, research and investigating, the family realized this path of duality was not sustainable — indeed, it was soul crushing. Their child truly was their daughter, and they were willing to offer all the support necessary to help her find her place as a girl in this world. She chose a new name for herself, had her name legally changed, and was ready to be the girl she always knew herself to be.
She and her parents realized they wanted to mark the moment with a ceremony, to really honor the transition, and mark the moment with authenticity and celebration. Working together, we all created a beautiful ceremony that both honored the child had she been, and the new child that she was becoming. The community was invited to a beautiful spot by a creek in the foothills of Boulder. She was crowned in roses and dressed up in the finest of garments made just for this occasion by her grandmother.
We circled round the family, naming ourselves and our relationships. Grandparents, uncles, and friends all joined in. I shared the story of her journey thus far, as written by her parents. We filled a backpack with letters of support from her community and gifts from her parents, symbolizing “We’ve got your back.” And with her backpack full of blessings, she walked up to a doorway built by her father. When she was ready, she opened the door, and walked through, announcing her new name, “I am Jane.” She was greeted on the other side into the loving outstretched arms of her community, and their cheers. “Welcome Jane!”
And in that magical moment she became all she had ever been in her heart and soul. The inner and the outer were in harmony.